Therapy for Adoptive Parents in Bethesda, Maryland
Body-based trauma therapy for adoptive parents
Online therapy throughout Bethesda and Montgomery County
You adopted because you wanted to be a parent. Maybe you spent years trying to conceive before choosing adoption. Maybe you always planned to adopt. Either way, you went through the home study, the background checks, the wait.
Now your child is home, and some days you're managing behaviors that your child's school counselor has never seen before. Your eight-year-old punches holes in the wall. Your teenager steals from you while looking you directly in the eye. Your five-year-old hoards food in their bedroom even though meals happen like clockwork.
You've tried three different therapists in Bethesda who suggested “natural consequences” and “staying calm.” But this is advice that assumes your child's brain works like a neurotypical child's brain. It doesn't, because early trauma changed how their nervous system developed.
Your child melts down because you asked them to put their shoes on, and two hours later you're both exhausted. You're walking on eggshells in your own home, never knowing what will trigger the next crisis.
You lie in bed at 1am running through every interaction from the day, wondering if you're helping or making things worse. Your chest is tight and your jaw aches from clenching. Even when your child is at school and the house is quiet, you aren’t able to relax because you're waiting for the call from the principal.
You avoid playdates with other Bethesda families because you can't watch your child hit someone else's kid one more time. You skip the neighborhood block party because explaining your family's situation to neighbors who don't understand adoption trauma takes more energy than you have.
The isolation makes everything harder. You're exhausted in a way that sleep doesn't fix: it's the bone-deep weariness of carrying both your child's trauma and now your own.
Online therapy for adoptive and foster parents
The adoption situations I work with
Private adoption that didn’t go as planned
You spent months supporting the birth mother - going to appointments, paying living expenses, bonding with the baby. You were ready for open adoption, ready to include her in your life.
Then she decided to parent and cut off all contact. Even though you knew "failed" adoptions happen, you weren't prepared to fall in love with a baby and then lose them. You're still grieving, and you're not sure you can risk your heart like that again.
Foster-to-adopt in Maryland
You went through Maryland's approval process to adopt the child you were fostering. You drove them to court-ordered visits with their biological parents, you advocated for them at every turn. Then they returned home with their bio parents, and you're grieving the loss of a child who was part of your family.
Post-adoption: when behaviors are severe
The adoption was expensive and took years to finalize. You knew your child came from a hard place: neglect, abuse, or drug exposure in utero. You did the research, you joined the Facebook groups, but nothing prepared you for this.
Some days you're going through the motions of caregiving but you can't actually feel the love you know is there. Your child's behaviors trigger something primal in you - your body goes into fight-or-flight during their meltdowns. You're spending thousands on wraparound services that aren't working.
You're sitting across from an educational consultant in Bethesda discussing therapeutic boarding schools, and you're trying to figure out if your family can survive keeping your child home.
Post-adoption depression
You thought the hard part would be over once your child was home. Instead of joy, you're deeply sad in a way you can't explain to anyone. Everyone expects you to be grateful; you “got what you wanted,” after all.
But you wake up with dread instead of excitement. You're smiling for the photos you post, but inside you feel huge guilt about not feeling instant love. (This affects 10-32% of adoptive parents, both mothers and fathers. You're not alone.)
Grief that adoption doesn’t cure
If you adopted after infertility, you might have thought bringing your child home would heal that wound. But the grief surfaces at unexpected moments: at the pediatrician's office when there's no family medical history to share, at school pickup when another parent comments your child doesn't look like you, during a meltdown when you wonder if this would be different with a biological child.
You feel guilty for these thoughts, like you're betraying your child by grieving what never was.
What Changes After Trauma Therapy
You sit at the dinner table while your child screams about the wrong color plate, and your heart rate stays steady. When you say "I understand you're upset, and you still need to use this plate," you actually mean it instead of either giving in or losing your temper.
You walk into the IEP meeting at your child's Bethesda school with three staff members and a district psychologist, and your voice doesn't shake when you explain why your child needs a therapeutic day school. You present the evaluation results, you push back on the suggestion to "try one more year" in general ed, and you leave knowing you said what needed to be said.
Your ten-year-old throws a book during homework, and you can catch your own activation before you escalate. The meltdown still happens, but it lasts 20 minutes instead of three hours because your calm nervous system helps your child come back down faster.
You're sitting with the educational consultant discussing residential treatment options, and you can stay emotionally connected to your child while also acknowledging that your home isn't safe anymore. You can hold both truths - you love your child and you cannot keep doing this. When you make the decision, you make it from clarity instead of from desperation.
On Saturday morning, you tell your spouse "I'm going out for two hours" without the crushing guilt that used to keep you parenting 24/7. You trust your spouse to handle whatever comes up while you're gone. When you come home, you can actually be present instead of already running on empty.
You accept your boss's offer to lead the new project because you have the energy to think about your career again, not just make it through each day. You're not just managing a crisis at home, you're intentionally building the life you want.
Your mother-in-law says "all kids act out sometimes," and instead of staying silent or exploding, you say clearly "Our child has trauma, not behavior problems, and we need you to stop comparing them to your kids." You set the boundary and mean it, without replaying the conversation for two hours afterward wondering if you should have said it differently.
You sit on the couch with your child watching a movie on Friday night, and your body is relaxed. You're not tense waiting for the next thing to go wrong. You can enjoy this moment with them.
You call your college friend and accept the dinner invitation you've been declining for weeks. You can be honest that adoptive parenting is hard without feeling like you're betraying your child, and you can laugh at someone's story instead of just mentally cataloging all the ways your life doesn't look like theirs.
Your spouse suggests trying for another adoption or considering foster care again, and you can have a real conversation about it. You can weigh what you want against what you can handle. The decision comes from a grounded place instead of from fear or numbness.
You wake up on Tuesday morning and feel rested. You're sleeping through the night most nights now. When the hard days come, and they still do, you recover faster instead of accumulating exhaustion and feeling like a zombie.
My Work with Bethesda Adoptive Parents
I provide online trauma therapy to adoptive parents throughout Bethesda, Rockville, and Montgomery County. Sessions are conducted through secure telehealth, which means you can do this work from your home during your child's school hours, from your office near the Bethesda Metro during lunch, or from anywhere you have privacy.
Body-based therapy
When you’ve experienced failed adoptions, depression, secondary trauma, or grief that things don’t look the way you expected, traditional talk therapy often isn’t sufficient for long-term healing. You need approaches that work with your nervous system, not just your thoughts.
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Help your brain file traumatic experiences where they belong: in the past. The failed adoption, the day your foster child left, the first time you felt numb when your child said “I love you.” The memories don't disappear, but they lose their emotional charge.
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Locates where trauma and grief are stored in your brain and helps release them. You won't have to relive every detail to heal from them.
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Recognizes that you have different parts of yourself with competing needs. There's the part desperate to be a good parent, the part that's exhausted and wants to give up, the part grieving your imagined family, and the part that loves your child fiercely. Instead of these parts creating internal war, we help them work together.
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Works directly with your body's trauma responses. We help your nervous system learn to regulate again.
My Experience with Adoption Trauma
I worked in child welfare and adoption for nine years before I became a therapist. I sat with hundreds of families navigating what you're navigating. I'm C.A.S.E. registered (Center for Adoption Support and Education) and completed Adoption Competency training through the National Adoption Competency Mental Health Training Initiative.
I understand that adoption doesn't just affect your child; it profoundly impacts you. I specialize in adoptive parents' experience: post-adoption depression, secondary trauma from parenting a child with severe behaviors, grief from failed adoptions, and the burnout risk that comes with this journey.
Serving Bethesda and Surrounding Maryland Areas
While I specialize in working with adoptive parents in Bethesda, I also provide online trauma therapy throughout Montgomery County including Rockville, Silver Spring, Potomac, and Chevy Chase, as well as other Maryland communities.
An Investment in Your Nervous System’s Freedom
Specialized trauma and PTSD counseling that works at the body level, not just the thinking level.
Session Options:
50-minute sessions: $300
90-minute sessions: $450
4-hour intensives: $1,200
I'm a private-pay provider and don’t take insurance directly. I can provide documentation for out-of-network reimbursement (also known as a Superbill) if your insurance plan offers it.
All sessions are conducted via secure telehealth. You can meet with me from anywhere in Maryland.
You don’t have to keep struggling with trauma or grief. Effective treatment is available throughout Maryland, no commute required.
About Summer, Adoption Therapist
I work with adoptive parents throughout Maryland because I understand that adoption doesn't just affect your child, it profoundly impacts you.
I am licensed to independently practice in Maryland (LCSW-C #34104).
I have 9 years of experience in child welfare and adoption and I am C.A.S.E. registered (Center for Adoption Support and Education) and completed Adoption Competency training through the National Adoption Competency Mental Health Training Initiative (NTI).
I specialize in supporting adoptive parents through their own mental health challenges: post-adoption depression, secondary trauma, and the grief and burnout that comes with this journey.
Using specialized trauma approaches, I help you heal from failed adoptions, process your own trauma responses, and find sustainable ways to manage the ongoing stress without losing yourself in the process.
Contact Me
Please complete this form and I’ll be back in touch via email, text, or phone within 1-2 business days.
Call or Text
855-564-3338
sverhines.lcsw@gmail.com
Mailing Address
P.O. Box 28, Wilton, CA 95693
Services are 100% online