Online Therapy for Adult Adoptees in Boise, ID
For adult adoptees sorting through identity, relationships, reunion, and grief. Serving Boise, Meridian, Eagle, Star, Nampa, and clients throughout the Treasure Valley.
Adult adoptee therapy in Boise, ID
Maybe you grew up here and your adoption was always the thing your family acknowledged but never really discussed. You were told you were chosen, that it was a blessing, and in a community where faith and family are as tightly connected as they are in Boise, the unspoken rule was that this should be enough. You learned early to keep the questions quiet, and you've been keeping them quiet ever since.
Or maybe you moved to Idaho in the last few years and brought your adoption story with you, and the distance from wherever you used to live didn't create the fresh start you thought it might.
Whatever brought you here, something has shifted.
Maybe you're holding your newborn and looking at a face that shares your genetics for the first time in your life, and the weight of that is bigger than you expected. Maybe you took a DNA test and found a biological relative in Nampa or a half-sibling in Portland, and you've been staring at their name on Ancestry for three weeks without telling anyone because you're not sure how your adoptive family will take it.
Maybe nothing specific happened at all, you just hit a point where the questions you've been carrying since childhood got too heavy to keep pushing down.
My work with adult adoptees
You can probably already explain your own reactions better than anyone in your life could. You know you pull away when someone gets close, you know you scan for signs that people are losing interest, and you know you've spent most of your life reading rooms and adjusting yourself to fit. You've done the reading, maybe joined the online communities, maybe even tried therapy before. You understand the "why" behind your reactions, and understanding hasn't changed them.
The gap between knowing why you do something and being able to do it differently isn't about willpower or self-awareness. These reactions started before you had language for any of them, some before you had memory, and they live in your body's responses rather than in your conscious thoughts. That's why you can talk about your adoption story with total clarity and still flinch when your partner gets quiet, still shut down when someone asks a question that gets too close, still feel the pull to become whoever the person in front of you needs you to be.
That's where my work focuses. The therapeutic approaches I use are designed to reach the places where those early experiences are still running the show. You won't need to narrate every painful detail or relive your worst moments to make progress, and much of this work happens with feelings and reactions that don't translate neatly into words.
I spent nine years working in child welfare and adoptions before becoming a therapist. I worked alongside adoptive families, birth families, and the children at the center of it all, many of whom are now adults carrying the same questions you are.
That means I already understand the competing loyalties, the grief that doesn't have a clear source, and the exhaustion of saying you’re "fine" in a family and a community that need you to be okay with your story.
So when you walk into a session, you can go straight to the thing that's keeping you up at night.
What changes when you work with an adoption-specialized therapist
Your adoptive mom will ask about Thanksgiving plans and you'll tell her the truth. You're spending it with your birth family this year, or you're splitting the day, or you just need a quiet one at home. You'll say it without rehearsing the conversation for a week beforehand, without over-explaining, and without the guilt taking up residence in your chest for the next month. She might not love the answer, and you'll let that be her feeling to sit with instead of making it yours to fix.
You'll take the DNA test, or open the results you've been avoiding, and make a decision from a clear place. Whether that means reaching out to a biological relative or deciding you're not ready, the choice will come from somewhere steady instead of from panic or desperation. You won't agonize over the wording of a first message for three weeks. You'll send it, and then you'll go about your evening.
Someone will ask where you're "really" from and you'll give a short answer and move on with your day. The question won't lodge in your chest for the rest of the afternoon. You won't replay it in the car on the way home or lie awake that night composing the response you wish you'd given. By the time you're making dinner, you'll be thinking about something else entirely.
You'll sit with your complicated feelings about your adoption without needing to resolve them. The gratitude and the grief, the love for your adoptive family and the anger about what you lost, the curiosity about your birth parents and the fear of what you might find. All of that will still be there. But you'll be able to hold it without it flattening your whole weekend. You'll feel the grief surface on a Tuesday evening and let it be there, and still make plans with a friend for Wednesday.
You'll tell your partner something real about how you're feeling and watch them stay. Not the edited version, not the one that makes it easy for them, the version that includes the messy parts about identity and belonging and not knowing where you fit. You'll say it out loud and the room won't collapse. Over time, you'll stop bracing for the moment when the unfiltered version of you is too much for someone to handle.
You'll make a decision about your own life because it's what you want. Not because it's what your adoptive family expects, not because it's the safest option, not because it's what the version of you that everyone is comfortable with would choose. You'll take the job, end the relationship, start the search, move to the city, whatever it is, and the decision will feel like yours instead of like something you're performing for an audience.
About Summer
Boise Adoption Therapist
I worked in child welfare and adoptions for nine years before becoming a therapist. I sat with hundreds of families navigating the adoption system: birth families, adoptive families, and the children at the center of it all. Many of those children are now adults carrying the same questions and complicated feelings you are.
I'm C.A.S.E. trained (Center for Adoption Support and Education), which means I have specialized certification in adoption-competent therapy. That training shapes how I work with adult adoptees specifically, the way loyalty to your adoptive family and curiosity about your origins can pull in opposite directions at the same time, the exhaustion of always adjusting who you are to fit the room you're in, and the grief that doesn't have a clear source because you're mourning something you never had rather than something you lost.
I hold an active Idaho Telehealth Registration (#9371387). If you're an adult adoptee in Boise, you can schedule a session or reach out through the contact form below.
Online Therapy for Adult Adoptees in Boise and Throughout Idaho
Online therapy for adult adoptees in Boise, including Meridian, Eagle, Star, Nampa, Caldwell, Kuna, Garden City, and communities throughout the Treasure Valley and all of Idaho.
Logistics
50-minute Sessions are $250.
I also offer 90-minute sessions for $375 and intensive sessions (2-4 hours) ranging from $500 to $1000 for people who want to work intensively.
I don't take insurance directly, but I can provide superbills for out-of-network reimbursement if your plan covers that.
I am available early mornings, evenings, and weekends. I provide services online only.
Self-Schedule or Contact Me Below
For the quickest and most confidential option, you’re encouraged to book directly into my calendar by clicking the Self-Schedule Here button below. That button will take you to my HIPAA-compliant calendar where you may request an appointment. Once I confirm your appointment request (typically within 24 hours), I will email you the new client forms to digitally sign. Then, we will meet on your scheduled day.
If you have questions prior to scheduling, you can also use the contact form below, and I’ll reply within 48 business hours. If you don’t see a reply, please check your junk/spam folder.
I look forward to hearing from you!
— Summer Verhines, LCSW
Contact Summer
Frequently Asked Questions
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The first session is a conversation. You tell me what’s going on, what brought you here, and what you want to change. I ask questions to understand your adoption history, your current patterns, and what feels most urgent. We don’t jump into EMDR or Brainspotting on day one. Most clients start body-based work in sessions two or three, once we have a clear picture of what we’re working on and you feel ready. The first session is also your chance to see whether working together feels like a good fit.
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Yes. Infant adoption involves separation from a biological parent during the period when your nervous system was forming its baseline understanding of safety and attachment. Even in the most loving adoptive home, that early experience can shape patterns in relationships, self-worth, and identity that persist into adulthood. Having a good childhood and carrying adoption-related effects are not contradictory. Both can be true at the same time.
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Yes. DNA discoveries are one of the most common reasons adult adoptees contact me. Whether you’re deciding whether to reach out, processing unexpected results, navigating a new relationship with biological family, or dealing with a reunion that didn’t go the way you hoped, this is core to what I do.
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If your previous therapy was talk-based, you likely developed an understanding of your adoption-related patterns without being able to change the underlying reactions. Body-based approaches like EMDR, Brainspotting, and ART work with the nervous system directly, which is where adoption-related responses are stored. The understanding you already have is an asset here, it means we can move into the deeper work more quickly rather than spending months building a foundation.
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Sessions are $250. I’m a private pay practice, which means I don’t bill insurance directly. After each session, I provide a detailed receipt called a superbill that you can submit to your insurance company, and depending on your plan, they may reimburse you for a significant portion of the cost. You can call the number on the back of your insurance card and ask “do I have out-of-network mental health benefits?” to find out before we start.
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No. You need to be physically located anywhere in Idaho during our sessions because my telehealth registration (#9371387) covers the entire state. I’m also licensed in California and Maryland.